I'm doing fine, running around doing all sorts of cultural stuff and singing songs and making a fool of myself and so forth. I'm going along well enough with people that there's always someone I can talk or laugh with. My German has dramatically improved, more than I was expecting actually, but I'm started to get fed up with my classes. Which is probably also why I'm so excited to soon go back to science — aside from, well, science being made of awesome and shiny unicorns, and also what I've trained for for my entire life. That said, I eat poorly, spend way too much time sitting on my ass, run mostly on sugar and caffeine, and clearly don't get nearly enough sleep, so it's also time that I go back to the real life. Please don't point out that I generally spend way too much time sitting on my ass, eating poorly and not getting enough sleep in real life as well. I have Plans.

But I don't have much to talk about. Well, I do, but mostly about a topic I don't want to talk about (because it's painful, and because they're no way I can write about it without offending people I have no desire to offend). I realize it sounds like a cheap teaser, but I'm afraid it actually is a genuine impasse. However half-assed it sounds (and however much my spell-checker insists there's no such word as "half-assed"), it's nevertheless the reason why I haven't been writing lately.

So, yeah, you know. Meep.

Day 12. Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I...

I just laughed so hard I might have split a rib. How's that for mind-body integration?

I know I'm not always getting along well with my body. Nevertheless, I tend to consider myself as a whole. My mind and my body have to be integrated because my body is my mind's one and only interface with the world. When I'm dancing, but also when I'm eating, walking, sleeping, breathing, or sitting at my computer typing bad answers to nonsensical questions.

Day 11. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Yeah, right.

It should come at no surprise at this point that this prompt, like its ten elder brothers but the first one, irritates the fuck out of me. I can already see the responses. Some of them will be New-Year-Resolution style. Cigarettes, fat, chocolate, stress, clutter, procrastination, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, petty arguments, compulsive shopping, debt. Others will be more in the Miss-USA vein, like so many Facebook avatar memes. World hunger, wars, conflicts, pollution, cancer, dying polar bears, abused children, beaten wives, abandoned pets, corrupt politicians, oil spills.

Gah! Was this thing really supposed to be so sappy?

(I just had a look at what people wrote, using Twitter's search, and they're either snarky of as new-year-resolutionerish or miss-usa-ey as I feared.)

Call me resistant to self-help and self-improvement, but I find it so patronizing to assume that people have as many as eleven non-trivial things they not only need to eliminate but also can eliminate. The "can" part prevents me from drawing wishful, pointless lists including pain, right-wing fucknuttery, and perfectionism-induced freak-outs.

Or maybe I shouldn't assume anything about the triviality of the things and go on and list objects, but: I have weeded out of my life all objects that needed to go when moving out from California.

Dear Reverb10 prompts,

I haven't forgotten about you.

I have even read you.

Here you are, in all your glory.

Day 9. Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Day 10. Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

What you inspire me, however, can be summed up as follow:

Blah.

I've already written all I was interested in writing about parties (whether or not dancing was involved).

I don't think of any of my decisions as wise. Good decisions? Certainly. Wise ones? I'm too young and foolish for something requiring as much experience, thought... and pretense as wisdom.

So here I am, facing the dry well of my withered inspiration.

Oh well, I'll just go and make some tea then. There's still some Jewish apple cake left.